I have realised over time, how much I beat myself up and do not express the love I should feel for myself. It is a known fact that we love ourselves the most of all. Then why don’t we tell ourselves that, in so many words? Yes, there are times when we fail, embarrass ourselves, or even find that we cannot really recognize ourselves anymore. But, it is the universal truth that we are all we have. Perhaps showing some tenderness and love to the singular companion-for-life will not be such a bad thing, after all? Just when I was contemplating these things, a letter arrived from my Self.
Dearest Self,
We have been together since the beginning of our existence and although, there have been times when I have doubted your wisdom to know of my existence, I have always loved you and looked out for you.
I am sorry that there have been times when you have felt disconnected from me. I am sorry that I left you in the dark sometimes. But fighting all odds you ran back to me as soon as you could and rescued me. It had torn me asunder but we held on to each other and we were able to find hope again.
I want you to know that you are my hero. I don’t often tell you how much I love you and admire you. You are intelligent, brave, strong, caring, compassionate, empathetic. When you doubt me, I feel betrayed. It hurts me deeply when you pay more attention to all the voices outside and ignore my voice.
Remember what Swami Vivekananda said? “All power is within you. Believe in that.” Why do you keep giving away that power to other people? You are enough. So do make it a habit to look inside. You need to believe. You need to believe that you are enough.
I am proud of all you have achieved so far. You cannot allow any kind of negativity to circle around you. Being humble is good, my dear, but humility should not come in the way of your self-esteem. It feels like you are driving with the emergency brakes on. Too much drag, too much recoil. It is too tiring for me to constantly pull you against your own self-limiting habits. I Believe. In you.
I know that there have been times when you have felt confused about everything you were feeling. I am glad that you are beginning to accept that this is not a burden but a gift. The world is filled with selfish people who have absolutely no regard for other people and their feelings. You have to stay true north, no matter what. You and I, my darling, dearest, bestest friend, we can do this together. Yes, you are not alone.
Love you forever.
Your Soul.
Writing from the Kitchen Sink 