My dear best friend,
You have been there for me since the time I have understood the meaning of friendship. You have been with me through all life’s ups and downs. You have held my hand when I was lost. You have been a shoulder to cry on. You have believed in me when I did not have the strength to do so. You have been my rock, my safety net, and my anchor.
My darling friend, there have been times when I have fought bitter battles with you when you have told me what I needed to hear. We have been left emotionally wounded, but you have never, ever, given up on me. When I have crawled back to you, riddled with guilt for questioning your intentions, you have embraced me with all the warmth and love that you could muster. I know how much of a toll it has taken on you but you have never uttered those dreaded words – ‘I told you so’; because you knew deep down inside that I had to go on that journey to understand who I was.
You have always known who I am and what I am capable of even when I didn’t, and your trust in me has been unwavering. You have never paid heed to how I react to situations because you always know ‘why’ I was saying those words. You have always understood my ideals and my philosophy of life, even when they were unconventional at best and weird at worst. You have been my one singular ally in a world that misunderstands, misrepresents, and twists my words to suit their needs. You have taken me at face value because you know me inside out. You are the one to whom I never have to explain myself, and with time, my one solace has been that even when the world is at dagger’s end with me, you, will never judge me.
You are my harshest critic. You never mince your words and you are the first one to call me out. It is an annoying habit of yours which really works me up. But I know that you mean well and that you are only thinking about what’s best for me. And when I lie to myself, giving excuses for my failures, you are always the one to say, ‘are you kidding me?’ Then I may shout and rant, defending my action or inaction; but you have always held your own, shaken your head and said, ‘this is unacceptable’. And then I would say, ‘fine’ and work towards rectifying my mistake but knowing all the while, that nothing goes unnoticed with you. And then, still hurting at having disappointed you, at being found out, I will return to you and ask, ‘are you happy now?’ and you will smile and say, ‘I’m proud of you’. And that would mean the world to me and I will be a happy bunny again. Your approval means the most to me, my dearest friend.
You, my dearest friend, are my sanctuary. With you, I don’t have to think of the next thing to say. With you, silence is comforting. With you, I can simply be because you know that at that moment, that is what I wish to do. I want to be. Every day, I crave to spend some time with you, listening to you think because we connect at the level of the soul. In fact, not one day goes by when I do not miss spending time with you and on most days, Life gets in the way. But I rely on you to tap my shoulder and say, ‘hey, you are neglecting me’, not because you are needy but because you know that without you, everything feels mechanical. You give me that fresh breath of air. I feel lighter when I have unburdened my day’s toils with you. More often than not, this ‘unburdening’ is without words because with you, I don’t need words.
You are the one I have had the longest relationship with and I feel grateful and blessed that we are best buddies. You are all that I will ever have and I promise to do my best to live up to your expectations and high standards. I promise to take care of you as best as I can because you are my hero.
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you — Mariah Carey
Writing from the Kitchen Sink 